Text Box: Thursday, February 26, 2009 Coffee and Chocolate i've never been much of a fan of sweets. i like fruit on occasion. sweet tarts and jolly ranchers were the only candies i'd eat. then one day my co-worker asked if i liked dark chocolate. i tried to decline, but he insisted, and i ate it. i took one little experimental bite.... sweet, bitter, slowly melting on my tongue- i was converted. since that fateful day i've become hip to some facts about this sinful treat. it's actually GOOD for you. it lowers blood pressure and contains antioxidants. some people even put it on their face... (that's assuming that this is healthy for the skin and not some "mammy" impression) so away with an apple a day! dark chocolate is tastier verily i say! (try it with a cup of coffee...heavenly) Text Box: sday, February 25, 2009 Manic Panic i had a birthday last saturday. we went to savannah and watched Coraline in 3-d with some old friends. then we went to a few dive bars and made some new friends. i drank too much of this.... i went to bed at 9pm with a headache. no one baked me a cake. in the morning i had the shakes. i didn't want to get a panic attack..... so i took one of these. the doctor prescribed them for my nerves. evidently i have fragile nerves. i did get a very nice down pillow that i love, a book of Jewish recipes, handmade earrings, a blue bottle for my tree, a wii nerf sport set, tervis tumblers, a really cool black and white tunic and $150.00 for birthday gifts. thank you!  

Heidi's Bloggity

 

---Oct. 31,  2008---Hank and I live in a small town in the South Carolina Lowcountry. Most everyone owns a gun and most carry them in their cars (bad spot if you're road rage-y). Deer and oyster season are really big deals around here. The fall season is marked by neighbors bringing you backstrap and inviting you to oyster roasts. We deep fry our turkey at Thanksgiving and put oysters in the stuffing. We catch the fish we eat. Our existance would be idyllic if we didn't have to go so damn far to see a decent rock show.
It's Halloween today. Last night was the Halloween party at Katie O' Donald's Pub here in town, and our good buddies "Lil' Maudlin and the Lushes" were set to play the gig. Didn't happen. They played a few songs and were unceremoniously fired. The rednecks were not in the mood for Celie's Blues and Drivin' on Nine. It happens- the owner still gave them $100 for their trouble, which supplied all of us with cold beer (and a shot of Jameson for me!). We got out of there and went over to Joan's house. She's the frontwoman for Lil' Maudlin and probably one of the funniest bitches that I know. She whipped out the turntable and put on Prince's "Purple Rain" album. I danced with my two favorite queens in training, David and Alex, and shook my tushy with Joan Bone. Hank, not being much of a dancer, watched for a while and then went outside to smoke and talk shit. Fun was had by all, and 7am came way too early this morning....

 

12/16/08                 RIP BETTIE PAGE and

ASHLEE SIMPSON, YOU DIRTY LITTLE WHORE YOU!

I know, she passed away a few days ago...and I'm still in mourning. Bettie freed our bodies and ideas about sex,
she was a one woman sexual revolution and original badass. She brought kink into the mainstream. She
was gorgeous, kittenish, strong. I, Heidi Whiskey, will try to live by her example. (I'm already rockin' the bangs,
so what the hell...!)

I heard the most disturbing shit on the radio this morning- of course it came from Howard Stern. He had (who
I thought at first was a real douche bag) Pete Wentz, who plays only knows what instrument in Fall Out Boy on
the show. I have a new found respect for the kid. He's married to Saturday Night Live catastrophe Ashlee Simpson (obviously not why I found respect).
When Howard asked him if she was into anal he replied, "I'm into it, and she likes making me happy". Who knew?
Jessica Simpson's little sister likes taking it up the ass! He also admitted to having a man crush on
John Mayer...maybe he is a douche bag after all.

Why did the President Bush have to have such good reflexes dammit?!!!

Hank's finishing up Joan Solley's video for her Christmas song, we'll post a link once it's up. It's super funny. You must check it out.

Check out www.downhillbowling.com, it's my favorite new game.

I wish I was at The Windrose right now having a Jameson and a Pabst, listening to the Butthole Surfers, in honor of Pete
and Ashlee's love........

 

12/19/08
JESUS LOVES YOU AND PALATKA TOO!!!

As I'm sure that you're aware, the holidays are rapidly approaching. This has always meant two things in our
household.( 1.) Thanksgiving is always in SC with Mom's family. The laid back family. The cocktails by the river,
smoke a cigarette and tell dirty jokes and fishing stories family. The shoot pool and have another drink in the
billiard room after you eat family. The one that lets you go home when you want to family.
( 2.) Christmas is always with the FL family. My Dad's family. They live in a little town (more redneck believe it
or not than here in Bluffton, SC) called Palatka. Palatka is quaint, located on the St. John River,
and thankfully for Hank and I, it is also home to one of our favorite dive bars, The Oasis- and yes, The Oasis
is open on Christmas day. This side of the family....not so laid back. There is PANIC to make sure that
meals are served on time. There is the stress of EVERYONE trying to please my grandmother, and the one
that seems to continually fail in that endeavor (by no fault of her own) is my stepmother. She usually ends up
in tears (and when I say usually, I mean ALWAYS).
Then there is the church. The pastor wears makeup and dons well
shellacked hair.
The congregation raises its arms and joyfully shouts that Jesus is comin'....and he's comin' soon people!!
The family that tries to save poor Hank's soul every year...to no avail.
By Saturday our nerves are usually so jangled that there is only one solution.
We must get drunk. (at The Oasis).

So, Palatka....HERE WE COME!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Text Box: Tuesday, February 10, 2009 The Dentist   THE FACT THAT MY DAD'S A DENTIST ONLY INCREASES MY ANXIETY   today i go to the dentist. i (and only i could do this), chipped a previously repaired tooth on a CELERY STICK. I JUST TOOK A XANAX TO ALLEVIATE A SURE FIRE PANIC ATTACK. the sound of the drills the opening wide hands in my mouth, taste of latex wondering, does my breath stink? is he going to numb my mouth so my tongue feels fat for hours and every thing i drink will dribble down my chin?     i'm never eating celery again. (remember to floss boys and girls)  

Text Box: Thursday, February 12, 2009 Has Joaquin Phoenix gone totally mental?   i just can't decide if he's fucked up on drugs or pulling an Andy Kaufman style stunt. i caught him on David Letterman last night. He wants to be a rapper now. He looks like he must smell bad.   remember when Andy Kaufman "left" comedy to become a wrestling champion? (wrestling women) i've been a fan of Joaquin's since i saw him as a cute little kid in "Parenthood". remember this sweet little face? is it disillusioned actor syndrome? is he some kind of mad genius? is he a junkie? does he need mood stabilizers? or is he just trying to kiss his career....